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Pronounciations April 30, 2007

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Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said “Louieville” and the other “Louiseville.”

 

They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant.

 

The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, “Tell me the name of the place where I am right now really, really, really slowly.”

 

The waitress goes, “Bur-ger-King.”

Japanese ski resort Mission Impossible. HYSTERICAL April 16, 2007

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf1dHcv9DnM

Who Was The Father? March 27, 2007

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A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?”

The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye; she pauses for moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes he did.”

The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife is admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks, “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?”

Again, the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tries to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says: “You.”

Memory Problems March 8, 2007

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Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”

“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques – visualization, association – it made a huge difference for me.”

“That’s great! What was the name of the clinic?”

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?”

“You mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife. . .”Rose, what was the name of that clinic?”

The Golfer and the Tree March 8, 2007

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A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured that if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

 Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him.

To his surprise, the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green.

 After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age, I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall.”

Hello world! March 4, 2007

Posted by SuperDave in Uncategorized.
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